Why Nepal?

A year ago I sat in a gathering to learn more about the ministry to women at my church. I was coming off of the most difficult year of my life. We’d almost lost our youngest son twice after complications from surgery. He ended up requiring a tracheostomy, a tube he used to breath through his neck. After two months in the hospital we returned home with 24 hour nursing care. This meant that if he wasn’t in the care of my husband and I, his critical airway required him to be in the care of a nurse. Every night we shared our house, our lives, and our son with what began as a stranger and our days consisted of many clinic appointments at the Children’s Hospital. With this change in plans came the realization that our dream of once again living overseas as missionaries was over. We grieved this loss of vision, passion and identity and came to terms with the fact that our son would live this way for at least six years. However, God’s ways are not our ways.

Ten months later, to the amazement of all, our little boy walked out the Children’s Hospital trach free. Although we still frequented the hospital, I was changed through this whole experience and I found myself at the foot of the cross asking the Lord what He now had for me and how he wanted to use what I had been through.

During our journey with my son’s health, it was very difficult for my husband and I to remain engaged with the outside world. Not only were we exhausted, but we also found it difficult to take our son out a lot or expose him to others. This was not only due to fact that he could not be in the care of others, but also because of his high susceptibility to respiratory illness. A simply cold for others could mean a hospital stay for him. 

I missed being with others. I missed worshiping with others. And I missed studying God’s word with others. 

So last fall, when I finally had the freedom to be in community again, I looked so forward to once again being in the word. However, I wanted something new. No, I needed something new. My relationship with the Lord had been taken to a new level, and I didn’t want to lose this deeper intimacy I now had with God. I’d been involved in many studies in the past. I’d led many studies in the past. I have a degree in theology. I’ve learned a lot through it all. However, I no longer wanted to “learn” about the bible. I wanted to interact daily with the Father. I wanted to converse daily with Him, I wanted His Spirit to interpret the scriptures and show me what the Lord was saying both to me and to others.

That’s when I learned about Life Journaling, a concept that seemed so simple yet so profound. Simply put, it just made sense. I joined the group, and a few weeks later, I began a new way of life. 

In March of this year the scripture we were looking at together one Saturday morning focused on God leading the Israelites in the cloud covering the tabernacle in Num. 9:17-23. During this time I reflected on what it would have meant to have to pick up everything and follow when the Israelites saw the cloud move. They didn’t know what direction it would go, if danger would be involved, where they would end up, nor how long they would stay once it stopped. It was an act of faith to trust God’s leading and to always be prepared to pack up a house, children, everything you owned and go when God’s spirit led. My prayer that day was to have that kind of faith. My prayer turned from one of asking God what he was doing or wanting me to do, to simply following the Lord wherever he was leading. The question was no longer, “What is your will Lord?” but rather, “will I pick and follow where He is leading?” It was a subtle switch in approach, but I knew I was to be ready to pick up and leave at any moment, and to start preparing to walk in the direction I saw the Spirit move.

A month later, during my times of scripture reading and journaling, the Holy Spirit kept bringing the nation of Nepal to mind.  I knew nothing of this nation, and remember, at this time we still believed we would never live overseas again. Within a week I told my husband that perhaps we should start to think about Nepal. Let’s just say, he was very confused.

A couple of weeks later the first earthquake happened in Nepal, and shortly thereafter, my husband was sent to relieve his staff who were responding with relief. Following the second earthquake he was asked if we’d be willing to move to Nepal. When we began to pray about it, it was obvious. The answer was YES. 

Many people have asked how we could make such a quick decision to move our family across the world in eight weeks…. Because it wasn’t something I had to seek an answer for. The Lord had been speaking to me all along and I knew what he wanted. When I saw him move to Nepal, He was asking me:  “Will you pick up and follow?” 

As I read back through my journal over the last year, it amazed me how the Lord was speaking to me daily, both in what he wanted me to hear in that day, to what he wanted me to hear for my future. There it was, in writing! And he used His word to do this. When I thought our dream of serving overseas again was over, he had already been telling me it was not!

I’ve been wrecked for the better by journaling. No other way of being in God’s word has had this level of impact on me. I’ve learned more about who the Father is through my daily interaction with Him and His word than in formal study of theology. Journaling is a way of life. It is a discipline that can be done on your own and with others, both in Canada and in Nepal. It is a daily transformation in which his spirit speaks and gives understanding. The only cost involved is the Lord’s call to follow him. 

Two years ago this month we grieved for the life we were forced to give up. Through the process of journaling I willingly gave this life up so that I could listen to HIS voice as He told me of the life He was about to give me. I wouldn’t change this for anything. 

We’ve been in Nepal now for one month. I am beyond amazed at how well our family has settled. It is as if my children have been here their whole lives. God continues to meet our needs before we even know they are needs!

May I never take for granted this blessing of serving the Lord overseas.