Letter to an Unknown Chinese Mother

I write to you today to say thank you for the most amazing gift you could have given me.

 

It all happened so quickly today. We walked into the room, and before we knew what was happening, he was already in our arms. We didn't even have time to get the camera out until after our introduction. I wonder if his birth was like that too? Did he arrive quickly - too quick to even have the camera ready?

 

I can imagine not a day goes by that you don't think of him. How could you not. Those gorgeous dark eyes, so full of gentleness, are unforgetable. Oh, how he loves to talk with them. They smile long before his mouth.

 

I can imagine you wonder if you would recognize his precious little face if you saw him today. Believe me, you would. It would be hard to forget. I wondered the same thing today. Would I know he was my son when I walked into the room? Would his face be familiar? Would I know it was him?

 

I did. It was those eyes. I knew right away.

 

And you would, too.

 

I can imagine you wonder what he is like, what his personality is like, how tall he is...

 

He likes to laugh. He is gentle. He is the size he should be, although smaller than my other two at this age. However, he is solid. You should see the size of his hands and feet! And he is a smart little one. You should see how he mimicks everything I am doing.

 

I can imagine you wonder how his health is. Has he thrived? Was he taken care of?

 

I know it was just as hard for his nannies to say goodbye to him as it was for him to leave his nannies. They have done well and they have cared for him more than just physically. He is a chubby little guy which means he has been getting the nutrients he needs.

 

He drinks from a bottle on his own. He feeds himself, but also lets mommy and daddy feed him too. He is a slow eater though! We are just so happy that he is able to get food in. No wonder he has been able to keep his weight up!

 

His little lip has been repaired. However, his palate won't be closed until we return to Canada. Don't worry, though, I have already met with the team at the Cleft Lip/Palate Clinic at the Alberta Children's Hospital. They are waiting for him and will provide the best care possible for him! He will get everything he needs.

 

I can imagine you wonder what he is like when he sleeps. Does he look like a little angel? He does. As I write, he is sound asleep on my bed. He fell asleep in his Daddy's arms during lunch. He fights to breath through his nose. His sleep is restless because of it. Please don't worry. He is getting the air he needs and his doctors in Canada will address this when he is home. I am watching over him. More importantly, so is the Lord, just as He has done for the last 21 months.

 

What I can't imagine is how much your heart must ache. My filled heart comes at the expense of your pain. For that I am deeply, deeply sorry.

 

I wish he could have known you and known how much you love him. I promise to tell him of your love. I wish he could have known your touch. I promise to hold him in my arms each and every day. I wish he could have known how much you cared for him. I promise to meet his daily needs and do all I can for him.

 

I wish he could have known your comfort while dealing with his medical needs. I promise to comfort him and care for him throughout his medical journey. I'll also hold him close through every cold and flu and fever. I promise to be there when he wakes up after surgery and tell him it will be okay. I promise to give him extra cuddles when he just isn't feeling well.

 

I wish he could have looked into your eyes as you tucked him in at night. I promise to rock him and snuggle him each night before bed. As I kiss his little head, I promise to kiss him a second time, for you.

I wish I could have known you, to thank you in person. I wish I knew your name, knew your personality, what you love and don't like, your favorite color and flower and book. I wish I knew all these things so that I had answers to the questions our dear son will have. I promise to answer him the best that I can.
And when I don't have the answer, I promise to pray over him so that the One who gives a peace that surpasses all understanding will comfort his tender little heart.

I promise to tell him of the One who knit him together in your womb. The one who has now placed our precious baby into my arms. The only One who can comfort us all. The One who gave His own life for you, and me, and our dear son.

May you know he is now loved by two mothers. He also has a Daddy that adores him. He has a big brother and big sister that can't stop saying how much they love him and showing him new things. He is enjoying them too, smiling and talking to them. He will be surrounded by the love of grandparents, aunties and uncles, and cousins. May he always feel our love, and yours.

To an Unkown Chinese Mother, I thank you.

And I honor you today.